Hello. As I prepare for my nightly dose of Temodar (only one more night after tonight this cycle), I must say the new treatment regime has been more gentle on us physically (and thus emotionally) than either Karen and I could have expected.
I don't know whether to suggest that this is the breakthrough and the success we're praying for but we have a strong sense that it is just that. Please continue your prayers for us. They are making an unbelievable difference.
The trip to Duke was so enlightening, mostly in a spiritual sense. Stephanie, our brilliant social worker, told us we are navigating the five stages of grief. What are they, anyway: denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance? As you can imagine, that wasn't easy to hear at first. Stephanie said, in those words and others, that my disease is fatal. I know this isn't easy for all of you to hear (not even Karen has read this part of the post - she did hear Stephanie say it, though). Stephanie went on to say that I could live many, many years. Maybe there's even a cure in my future? So what's to worry about? I intend to live! Some of the things Stephanie said will stick with us for a long time.
Don't be afraid. We intend to face our future with all the courage and joy we know which, thanks for you, is immeasurable.
Love,
John
A River Runs Through Lindenlure
12 years ago
6 comments:
John, thanks so much for the moving and honest post that went up yesterday. Of course, none of us is guaranteed tomorrow. The difference is that it's easy for me and maybe others to be in denial about that fact. You have a little more of a reality check on that one and I only hope that when I decide to accept my mortality that I will, like you, be able to choose joy to accompany me.
Joy is a choice and not something that comes out of the blue. I'm grateful that you have chosen joy for your life and I wish you the longest possible life, and not only that, but abundant life (John 10:10). Again, thanks for letting your cup overflow in our direction. Blessings on your journey.
Phil
Darn straight John, it may be fatal, but when that happens exactly is wiiiide open.
Glad to hear to made it through another cycle. We're thinking about you guys.
Nathan
John,
You are so strong. You've always been the "rock" in the family. We are all right there behind you, so lean on us.
I am so glad Duke is involved. And, I am so glad that you and Karen are open to alternative treatements.
We love and pray for you every day!
love you!
Bean,
I am glad that you have this blog- and that you so honestly share your experience.
Your strength and courage does not cease to amaze me--
You have taught me much about the way I approach each day; thank you for showing me such immeasurable courage, honesty, and faith--
God's works are limitless, and I have no doubt that it was He who brought you to Duke- and with Him, all things are possible!
Dan and I are here for you every step of the way, and come rain or shine, we will be there!
We love you! I love you; you are not only my dad, but one of my best friends!
Love you!
Lil' A
John,
There's not much I can say that hasn't already been said by Phil, Nathan, Martha, and Ashley. But originality's not the point, is it?
One of the many amazing things about you is that, even while holding your own in your fight against this disease, you've still got strength to spare. I've remarked upon that to Ashley several times in the course of events since this February past, and she may have repeated it to you, but I don't think you've heard it from me before. Anyway, you've passed that strength on to Ashley, too - in the difficult events of this year, she's propped me up many times.
I'm immeasurably blessed to have people like you and her in my life. I tell her that every single day - that I'm very lucky to have someone like her in my life. I don't, of course, express those sorts of sentiments to you (Karen might get the wrong idea about me ;) ), but, notwithstanding my silence, it applies.
I think you're winning this fight. You've come out ahead every time you've gone toe-to-toe with this disease. Stay strong, but please lean on us whenever we can help. You're an incredible friend, a great father-in-law, and an example to aspire to.
I don't know what else to say. I don't have the words. But you get the idea.
Take care,
Dan
Hi John,
I have been thinking about you, hope this week is going well in your recovery week.
I thought your feelings about last week were so sincere. I know there are times, you are so tired and try to keep us positive. Know that we, your brother and sisters are right beside you every step of the way. You can tell us anything.
I love you, Martha
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